In our culture there’s a huge assumption that relationship takes hard work (yet isn’t there at least one couple you can think of right now that doesn’t work at it and still have the perfect relationship).
Because we are taught that only the “beautiful” people in ads attract ideal partners we spend more time and money on making ourselves look perfect which in the end is unattainable. (Instead of spending time and money understanding that your soulmate-earthmate will fall in love with the YOU underneath the masks) Choosing well, according to mainstream culture, is only about 2 things -compatibility and chemistry. Yet if I really enjoy alternative 90s music and he can’t stand it does that make for a less than ideal relationship?
Hardly.
I can go off to a concert with my friends for the night and come home to the arms of the one person who loves me without conditions.
All of these above are consequences of the modern way of dating and picking a partner. This has led to an absolutely abysmal divorce rate. Once the veneer of a new relationship is over all the things that drive you crazy, they ways that they behave, their character traits, or their lack of loving you in the way that you want to be loved will have you trying to compensate or fix or withdraw or end it. Powerful unconscious forces drive you to end up with the wrong person unless you are taught what to look for up front including taking the time to get to know yourself and your needs.
“Choose well and you don’t have problems”.
In this video with International Therapist, Counsellor and speaker Joan Kaylor, we discuss the last “finding love” course you’ll ever need.