Atum
By Kairn Carrington
I first met Atum O’Kane in the taxi from the Campbell River airport en route to Hollyhock. The lovely stranger seated beside me told me he was from Seattle and we quickly fell into an intense political discussion about a looming George Bush presidency.
When we arrived at the front desk it quickly became apparent that he was not a guest as I had assumed but was leading some kind of spiritual program. I was fascinated. That fall I registered in his two year program The Art of Spiritual Guidance and I have studied and travelled with Atum ever since, through workshops and year-longs, like the Time of Transition and Archetypes of the Soul, the Path of Attainment, and the Soul of Christianity, We have sat together in the quiet caves above Assisi where St. Francis took refuge with his monks, danced with Margie Gillis, and whirled in love-soaked circles at Sufi camp in Mexico. Eventually Atum ordained me as an eco-chaplain in the Spiritual Guidance Wisdom School, in a beautiful ritual on the Hollyhock beach.
Now our beloved teacher has left this world and like so many of you I am bereft. The loss of such an extraordinary being is hard to hold. I feel a different kind of alone-ness than I have ever experienced before. The world feels more treacherous somehow. I suppose that I looked to Atum as my own spiritual guide, to help me interpret the happenings in my own life and in the larger world, so that I could carry them without being overwhelmed – to help me make meaning of the challenges of life and provide a context that has always helped me move forward feeling whole and even hopeful.
Atum was a unique and exquisite teacher, weaving together his own blend of teachings from Sufism, Christian and Jewish mysticism, Buddhism and Jungian psychology. Atum led workshops across the globe, in Mexico, Germany, Switzerland, Uganda, Bhutan, Nepal, Israel, India, Egypt and England. Still, I often heard him say that Hollyhock was his favourite place to teach as it offered “a landscape where the soul could fully unfold.” He was Hollyhock’s most consistent spiritual teacher offering programs for 30 years. His signature two-year Spiritual Guidance program evolved, from the prompting of Orianne Lee Johnson who was Hollyhock’s Program Director at the time, and that work gave rise to a deep inter-connected Spiritual Guidance community.
The teaching of Atum’s that arises for me now is from Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, his principle Buddhist teacher. It has two elements, the first is to contemplate the state you want to be in when you die, and then to practice living in that state. I have heard from those that were with Atum, in his last few days, that he died as he had lived – in the loving arms of grace. The second element of the practice is to know who you are going to call out to when you die – to identify your source of refuge, be it a god figure, a person, a community or even nature itself. The question is – what is the place you can turn to in difficult times that will hold you until you are able to come back to your own centre? Learn to call out for this refuge as you live, well before you die.
Atum is my place of refuge. He is who I call out to. So I will practice reaching out to him when I need him, just as he taught me, just as his teacher taught him. And I know he will be there for me. I will push myself to hone my hearing and open my vision so that I can feel him, loving me, holding me, guiding me.
The practice of Atum’s that has become my daily practice came from a time when we were visiting a temple on a pilgrimage in Bhutan. Atum came upon a statue of Padmasambhava/Guru Rinpoche that spoke directly to his soul. He asked the statue how to get into the state that shone from the Guru’s face, and he was offered the following prayer:
Deeply rooted in the present moment
With a clear open spacious mind
Seeing beyond doubt and fear
Abiding in the luminous heart of equanimity
The way unfolds before me.
The next morning back at the hotel Atum offered this mantra to the group, suggesting that this single teaching could be enough to hold one through an entire lifetime.
Shortly before Atum’s passing, his son Emmanuel offered another practice in a letter he wrote to Atum’s spiritual guidance community shortly before he passed.
“I remember Atum talking about the final spiritual practices of his close friends and teachers. How the practice(s) they did held the simplified essence of all they learned and longed for. The practice I’ve witnessed Atum doing the most during these last six months is the naming and complimenting of qualities he sees in people. Everywhere Atum went he would reflect back a soul quality he saw in whoever he interacted with. Seeing the beauty in others and naming a quality or contribution that they embody, evoke or offer the world is a practice the world longs for. At this time, you may want to take a few minutes to name the soul qualities that Atum embodied. I also invite you to remember the qualities that Atum saw and named in you.”
From my first encounter with Atum in that Hollyhock van, he never wavered in who he was – an exquisite human being with no airs – engaged with the issues of the day and, at the same time, connected to a higher plane of acceptance and awareness that was made available to others simply by being in his presence.
I have found it a great balm this past week to hear Atum’s voice once again, through some of his recorded teachings online. There are some recordings available on his website.
May he live in our hearts forever.
